Read all of this this first. Yes, we know your attention span isn't that long (thanks, cell phones), but please. Do it for the dogs.
Use this link: http://bit.ly/2k6aXn1 You'll need to figure out how to use it; we do not provide technical support - ask a 12 yr old instead, they're smarter than us anyway.
Review your own app for completeness. If you submit an incomplete app, we will not contact you to inform of your mistake; we will simply not reply. This is your responsibility and we totally believe you're capable of it! If we can have cars that drive themselves, you can certainly write answers into a PDF.
Email your completed application to email@example.com. Do not ask us for a fax, for a physical address, for a telegraph recipient, or for a courier to assist you.
Wait patiently. We are all volunteers who do NOT get paid to do this. We have full time jobs, our own families, our own dogs, our foster dogs, and then we squeeze in reviewing apps between Netflix binges. Sometimes, Making of a Murderer takes precedence over reviewing your app (just for our mental health).
If your app is approved, you will be contacted via email to schedule a video chat. We use Facebook messenger. If you don't have Facebook, you'll have to download it. No, we don't care if you're scared of Chinese intervention, if you live in a yurt and eschew social media, or you're having an affair and can't give your wife your FB password...if you can't log into Facebook messenger, you can't adopt from us. Them's the rules.
You will need to pay a $50 deposit at this time as a token of your sincerity. If we deny the adoption for any reason, the money will be refunded. If you do not show up for the video chat or decide not to adopt for any reason, the deposit will not be refunded.
We are happy to provide references after the video chat but we don't do it prior to in order to not annoy our references with every single Tom, Dick, and Harry that emails in. Our former adopters have lives too!
The deposit and subsequent adoption fee must be sent via "friends and family" Paypal. If you do not have a Paypal account, you'll need to get one or bribe your coworker to let you use theirs. We do not accept gold doubloons, paper checks, bartered goods, or exchanges of other dogs.
Transport and adoption fee payment are arranged after the adoption is approved. I mean, feel free to pay us prior and all, but it's not required.
If you ask about any part of this process, we will simply refer you back to this page...again, we value our own sanity so don't take it personally. If you have questions that are not answered here, good on you and you can ask them during the video chat. We will not respond to questions prior to receiving a completed application because we are not a superhuman army of robots with unlimited time and patience (sorry about that).